Recognizing Attachments

Our focus thus far has been on contemplative practices which help us to live more deeply and to become more welcoming of mystical graces. We would be remiss, however, if we failed to mention the role of attachments and the false self in frustrating even our best efforts to grow spiritually.

On this web page, I have provided a sketch of the nature of attachments and how they are distortions of our desires. See also this page on addictions.

I refer to attachments as “disordered desires which have become more or less habitual preoccupations of the mind and will,” and so they are. In some of his lectures and writings, Fr. Anthony de Mello called them “desires on whose fulfillment our happiness depends.” Anything can become an attachment if we hold it in this manner, especially if we do so repeatedly.

The problem with attachments is that once we form one, a certain dualistic, judgmental mindset is activated. We begin to view people and circumstances in terms of whether they are helps or hindrances to attaining our attachments. This in itself introduces profound distortions into our consciousness; our perceptions become skewed by the attachment. There is also anxiety about not fulfilling our attachments. In fact, most anxiety is probably related to attachments of some kind.

The trick, then, is to first recognize when you’ve become caught up in an attachment of some kind. The web page cited above asks these questions:
1. Do you experience anxiety over situations beyond your control?
2. Is your mind "noisy," preoccupied, overly concerned about things which you derive little pleasure in considering?
3. Is it difficult for you to enoy the NOW without disturbing memories from the past or anxious concerns about the future intruding?
--If you answer yet to any of these questions, you have an attachment of some kind.


And if you have attachments of some kind, welcome to the human race!

Letting Go of Attachments

I have another web page on my web site with suggestions on how to let go of attachments and addictions. Note the emphasis on awareness, honesty, gentleness with self--all contemplative practice disciplines we’ve mentioned alread.

Attachments seem to be strongest when we live more unconsciously. When we become more aware, however, and honestly examine our attachments, we strip them of a great deal of their power and energy. This energy can be re-focused through the practice of benevolent vizualations and resolutions to help us live more freely.

In the case of very stubborn attachments and addictions, professional help might be needed. Woundings from childhood are often the source of very deep attachments to approval, for example, requiring focused inner work to help facilitate the healing that is also enabled by contemplative practice. And addictions, as we all know, frequently require professional intervention to help one break free.

The more you can break free from attachments and addictions, the more fruit you will experience from contemplative practice. That’s been my experience, at least, and I’ve seen this verified many times in working with others in spiritual direction. I look forward to hearing more of your experiences on the forum.

The positive discipline to encourage, here, is non-attachment: that we allow nothing to come between us and the union with God that we seek. Sometimes this means we have to practice disciplines of mortification--to abstain from eating junk food, for example, if that is an addictive involvement for you. Basically any discipline which fosters moderation in one’s activities is a help to reducing attachments and additions. The fruit of this practice is the recovery of one’s inner freedom.

Further Reading

Non-attachment. Describes the Zen view of this practice; lots of valuable insights and recommendations.
Attachment and Non Attachment. A yogic understanding and approach.
Non Attachment Seeing things from the perspective of the forest rather than the trees.
The Meaning of Addiction. The first few paragraphs on this page are good descriptions.
Stages of Addiction. Can be applied to any addictive involvement.

Reflection and Discussion

1. What questions and comments do you have about this session?

2. How significant a problem do you believe attachments and addictions are in frustrating spiritual growth?

3. If you are willing, share an attachment or addiction that you struggle with, or have struggled with in the past. How did this affect your life, especially your spirituality? What has helped you to break free?