- part 2 in our reflection on the False Self system; this provides material for reflection -

Consider the characteristics of the false self system listed below. For each one that applies to you, write on a separate sheet of paper or in your journal how you experience this characteristic in your everyday life and what consequences you and others suffer because of it.

1. I am more in touch with what I want for my life than with what God wants for my life.
2. I frequently feel numb, empty, or cranky inside myself.
3. I am afraid to discover what's really going on deep inside myself, and! try to avoid this by living on a more superficial level.
4. When I become uncomfortable inside myself, I find some way to escape from this discomfort by using television, food, work, a relationship, alcohol, drugs, shopping, gambling, reading material, religious activities, or chatter.
5. I am often critical of myself.
6. I am often critical of others.
7. My mind is often filled with anxious preoccupations about the future and about whether I will be able to get or to keep what I think I need.
8. It is difficult for me to just be. I generally feel that I must be doing something to justify my life to myself.
9. I am trying to find happiness by getting something I don't have or by getting rid of something I do have but don't want.
10. In relationships with others, I generally feel I have to play a role or wear a mask. If I did not do this, others would probably reject me.
11. Frequently, I do not even know what my true thoughts and feelings are.
12. My self-concept or idea of myself is skewed so that! see myself as inferior to others or! see myself as superior to others.
13. lam constantly comparing myself to others to determine if Jam "ahead" of them or "behind" them in some area of life.
14. When people insult or ridicule something or someone I am identified with, I feel personally insulted and I become angry. (For example, when my country is criticized, I become defensive.)
15. The roles I play give me a sense of identity. What I do is who I am. If! could not continue to do it, I would not know who I am.
16. When someone criticizes the way I do something, I feel personally put down. I have a hard time separating what! do from my identity.
17. It seems that all my thoughts, feelings, memories, and desires are related to my self-image-to changing it or to maintaining it.
18. If I could better control the people and external circumstances in my life, I would be happier.
19. I tend to view close friends and family members as "mine." I tend to treat them that way, too.
20. I tend to view God as judgmental. I believe I have to do the right things-usually religious kinds of behavior-to win God's approval. I seldom feel that I am in harmony with God.
21. It is hard for me to see how God is involved in the everyday affairs of my life. Generally, it seems that God has nothing to do with me and my life. God has better things to do.
22. In my prayer, I spend more time asking God to do what I want than praying for the grace to do what God wants.

Inventory of Inordinate Desires and Delusions (another reflection exercise)

Desires:

In answering the questions below, consider physical health, relationships, present occupation, material comforts, emotional health, sense of God's presence-anything!

1. To want what I do not have! What is this for me?

a.

b.

C.

d.

e.

2. There are conditions and circumstances in my life that I am rejecting: I have what I do not want! What are these conditions and circumstances?

a.

b.

C.

d.

e.

Delusions

1. On a thinking level, how do my desires reinforce the attitude "I'll be okay when..."?

2. Which of the following are true for you?

I'll be okay when...
a. other people like me.
b. I have good physical health.
c. I retire.
d. I have more money.
e. I have more time to myself.
f. the bishop (my spouse/my boss/my child) does what he/
she is supposed to do.
g. (your own personal statements)


Addictive Behaviors Checklist

For each of the characteristics below, check the behaviors that apply to you. Consider alcohol/drug use; shopping; gambling; watching TV; sex; overeating/undereating; approval-seeking; working, etc.

1. When I am feeling down, I frequently turn to this activity to feel better.
2. I am uncomfortable with the way I indulge myself in this behavior.
3. I sometimes lie about my involvement in this behavior.
4. When I go without this activity for a while, I feel uncomfortable and panicky.
5. My behavior in this area causes problems for me (physical, relational, and so on).
6. My behavior in this area causes problems for others.
7. I have tried to stop this behavior, but I inevitably go back to it.
8. When others confront me about this behavior, I become defensive.
9. Because of this behavior, I have cut back on healthy involvements.
10. If I could better control myself in this area, my life would be more manageable.

TOTAL

If you have one check in any area, it could indicate an addictive involvement. The more checks for any behavior, the more intense the addictive involvement.
.

Changing Your Behavior

1. What addiction or false self behavior have you identified that you would like to change? Choose only one to begin, then take another later.
2. Why would you like to change this behavior? What will happen if you do not change it?
3. What need or needs have you been trying to meet or cover up by using this behavior?
4. What are some other ways to meet these needs or to face the problems you are avoiding?