Israeli Personal Ads (Susan)


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Posted by Phil on February 15, 1999 at 13:52:45:

>>ACTUAL PERSONALS WHICH APPEARED IN ISRAELI PAPERS
>>
>> --Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in woman.
>>
>> --Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan! Write.
>>
>> --Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No
>> personality.
>>
>> --Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male
>> who will accept my independence, although you probably
>> will not. Oh, just forget it.
>>
>> --Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles,
>> Chanukah candles, havdallah candles, Yahrzeit candles.
>> Seeks non-smoker.
>>
>> --Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my
>> behind. Looking for American-born woman who speaks
>> English very good.
>>
>> --Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce.
>> Let's try it for eight days. Who knows?
>>
>> --80-year-old bubby, no assets, seeks handsome, virile
>> Jewish male, under 35. Object matrimony. I can dream,
>> can't I?
>>
>> ---I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your
>> heart to. Share your innermost thoughts and deepest
>> secrets. Confide in me. I'll understand your insecurities.
>> No fatties, please.
>>
>> --Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent,
>> self-made. Looking for girl whose father will hire me.
>>
>> --Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing,
>> skiing, track and field. Has slight limp.
>>
>> --Desparately seeking shmoozing! Retired senior citizen
>> desires female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, and
>> krechtzing. Under 30 is also OK.
>>
>> --Attractive Jewish woman, 35, college graduate, seeks
>> successful Jewish Prince Charming to get me out of my
>> parents' house.
>>
>> --Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shule
>> with, light Shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build
>> Sukkah together, attend brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion not
>> important.



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