Catholic Dictionary (from Johnboy)

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: >THE CATHOLIC DICTIONARY: : > : >AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. : > : >BULLETIN: 1. Parish information, read only during the homily. : >2. Catholic air conditioning. 3. Your receipt for attending Mass. : > : >CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the : >congregation to lip-sync. : > : >HOLY WATER: A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY. : > : >HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher : >than that of the congregation's range. : > : >RECESSIONAL HYMN: The last song at Mass, often sung a little more : >quietly, since most of the people have already left. : > : >INCENSE: Holy Smoke! : > : >JESUITS: An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges : >with good basketball teams. : > : >JONAH: The original "Jaws" story. : > : >JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own. : > : >KYRIE ELIEISON: The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize : >besides gyros and baklava. : > : >MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower. : > : >MANGER: 1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't : >covered by an HMO. 2. The Bible's way of showing us that holiday : >travel has always been rough. : > : >PEW: A medieval torture device still found in Catholic Churches. : > : >PROCESSION: The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass, : >consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners : >looking for seats. : > : >RECESSIONAL: The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass - led : >by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot. : > : >RELICS: People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually : >know when to sit, kneel, and stand. : > : >TEN COMMANDMENTS: The most important Top Ten list not given by David : >Letterman. : > : >USHERS: The only people in the parish who don't know the seating : >capacity of a pew. : > : > : >><> <>< ><> <>< ><> <>< ><> <>< ><> <>< ><> <>< : > ___ \\||// ___ : > ____( \ .-'~ ~`-. / )____ : > (____ \_____ / \(@)(@)/ \ _____/ ____) : >(____ `-----( ) )-----' ____) : > (____ __________ \ \____/ / __________ ____) : > (______/ \ `-.____.-' / \_____) : > \ **HUG** /

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