Signs of Church Property (from Sr. Eucharista)

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: SIGNS ON CHURCH PROPERTY : ---------------------------------------------- : >>>> : "No God -- No Peace. Know God -- Know Peace." : >>>> : "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!" : >>>> : "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins." : >>>> : "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!" : >>>> : An ad for St.Joseph's Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands : holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed : and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two : tablets." : >>>> : When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign : with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated : with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too." : >>>> : "Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons -- come hear one!" : >>>> : A singing group called "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at : a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor : fixed the outside sign to read, "The Resurrection is postponed." : >>>> : "People are like tea bags -- you have to put them in hot water : before you know how strong they are." : >>>> : "God so loved the world that He did not send a committee." : >>>> : "Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!" : >>>> : "When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright." : >>>> : "Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday." : >>>> : "Fight truth decay -- study the Bible daily." : >>>> : "How will you spend eternity -- Smoking or Non-smoking?" : >>>> : "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives": : >>>> : "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and : the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world." : >>>> : "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin." : >>>> : "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church." : >>>> : "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns." : >>>> : "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ---------> (U R) : >>>> : "Forbidden fruit creates many jams." : >>>> : "In the dark? Follow the Son." : >>>> : "Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up." : >>>> : "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."

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