Jon, your question can certainly be discussed openly, but it's not an easy one to reply to. As in so many cases, one must first and foremost pay attention to what they sense the process calling them to. There are times when it seems to draw lots of subtle energy from the reproductive system/fluids, and so conservation is called for. Other times, it's not so big a deal.
I'd recommend Mantak Chia's books--especially the one on Taosit Secrets of Love as a good resource on the relationship between kundalini, subtle energy, and how this relates to our sexuality. He's got a number of exercises that you might find helpful. If nothing else, the book is a fascinating read.
Look him up on the bookstore on this web site if you can't find his works elsewhere.
Follow-up questions welcomed.
-------------------- "The Light shines on in darkness . . ." - John 1: 3 -