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God, Self and Ego
An Exercise in Discernment
by Philip St. Romain
| . Shalom Place |
|
An Exercise in Discernment
by Philip St. Romain
| E-book available for immediate download. - $3.50 USD |
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What follows is a "sneak
preview" of the text of my doctoral project (the entire text can be
downloaded as a pdf file from the website mentioned above). It was
written during the fall of 1995, and accepted by my advisor and the
staff of the Graduate Theological Foundation in spring of 1996. When
I let my publishers know of it, they expressed interest, but wanted a
total rewrite to make it more palatable for a general audience. As I
did not have the time nor inclination to do so, I put it on the
shelf, thinking that none but a few friends might express interest
(and that, out of politeness).
After doing a couple of workshops on this work, however, I learned
that there was a greater hunger than I'd anticipated in things
metaphysical--particularly as expressed in the Christian tradition.
Ever since Vatican Council II, the metaphysical teachings of
theologians like St. Thomas Aquinas have received short shrift. There
are many reasons for this, none the least of which is the
"pedagogical sins of the pre-Vatican II Church," as my friend Jim
Arraj likes to put it. Metaphysics was taught in seminaries and
universities, but it was a dry and seemingly irrelevant topic.
Following the council, psychological approaches came more into vogue,
and remain so today. But just how, precisely, do these approaches fit
into a "larger understanding" of human nature? This was the issue
which my workshop participants seemed to want to know more about. It
is the primary concern of this book.
Contents (page numbers omitted; hyperlinks to sample
areas)
Part One: What is God, Self and Ego?
During the past 23 years,
since my adult faith journey began, no
issue has interested me more than the manner in which God and I
are
united. The reason for this interest has been personal as well as
academic. Many times along the way, I have hurt myself because of
distorted ideas about how God and I are united. There was a
period,
for example, in which I suffered greatly because of false
humility.
I actually believed that God loved me more if I put myself down,
or
considered other peoples' needs more important than my own. A
number
of traditional meditation manuals seemed to endorse this position
in
their contention that self-love is at the root of our
sinfulness.(1)
Then there was the Gospel mandate to deny self, pick up the
cross,
and follow Jesus.(2) All of this conspired to intensify an
already
bad case of low self-esteem and non-assertiveness. Thankfully, I
came upon the writings of Fr. John Powell, S.J., who affirmed the
value of a healthy self-love, thus enabling me to experience
God's
presence more fully as well.(3)
Among the many words today that are used in a variety of
contexts--some of which are contradictory--none is so badly
maligned
as the word Self. Everyone uses the word at some time, and we all
assume that we know what we mean by it. When pressed to define
the
term, however, we generally stammer, or else feel insulted for
being
asked to explain the obvious. Those of us who have, in addition,
been exposed to the terminology of modern psychology will also
encounter the term Ego, which is sometimes used to describe the
Self
of common parlance, but is frequently more nuanced. For most
psychologists, Ego is
not a disparaging term, but to thepsychologically illiterate, it
refers to fat-headedness. Who among
us--even those familiar with psychological language--would like to
be
told that we were very Egoic?
Although most psychologists refer to the Ego as the conscious
aspect of the Self, there is great variation among the schools of
psychology concerning the relationship between Ego and Self.
Some,
like the Jungians, see the Ego as the conscious representative of
a
deeper Self.(4) Others do not delve into the metaphysical
implications of their science, but focus primarily on helping the
Ego
adapt to its social situation. When encountering the writings of
transpersonal psychologists, however, one finds many references
to
Self that sound similar to religious descriptions of God.(5)
Transpersonalists also tend to regard the Ego as an illusory self,
or
a false self, thus contradicting the Jungian and even Freudian
usage
of the term.
As Christians come into increasing contact with Hindus,
Buddhists, and Taoists, we find an even more confusing use of
this
terminology. For the Hindu, Self refers to the Atman, which is
one
with Brahman, the supreme God. Hence, the Hindu idea of Self is
practically synonymous with the divine while the Ego is considered
an
So, what is Self and
Ego?
Put simply, it is "I".
But this ineffable experience we know to be "I" has two aspects:
potentiality and actuality. The "I" of potentiality is the
larger,
more universal aspect; the individual actualization of this
potential
is more unique and personal. Hence, Self can be considered the
subject of the unconscious, and Ego the subject of desire,
intellectual activity, and conscious experience. These are not
two
different subjects, but they are two different experiences of
"I".
Self is "I" as the human spirit, who is present in desire and all
manner of experiences, while Ego is the conscious and active
dimension of "I" in this embodied state. When one consciously
realizes this connection between Self and Ego, then the Ego loses
its
sense of alienation and isolation and begins to experience the
social, cosmic, transcendent and holistic qualities of Self.
Because of our false self conditioning, however, our awareness
of this connection between Self in Ego can be so terribly
distorted
that the Egoic "I" does not know from whence it comes, and so it
attaches to all manner of things within and without the person in
an
attempt to complete itself. "I" can then become lost in the
convoluted activities of the mind and emotions, becoming, instead,
a
"me," or object of my own mental activity. In such cases (and
they
are legion), then "I" am not merely shaped by my experiences, but
determined by them. They are not "mine," but "me." Excessive
self-
definition and judgmentalism follow from the creation of this
mind-
self, which is not-"I".
And what of God? Is God "I"?
No, God is not "I". Rather, God is the "Am" in which "I" affirm
the fact of my existence: "I Am." This "Am", or pure Being, is
utterly distinct from "I", for "I" cannot, of its own accord,
know
anything more about It than the fact that "It Is." And yet Being
is
also the source of "I"; apart from It, "I" has no existence, no
"Am."
Something of Existence must therefore be present within "I", for
It
is the means by which "I" has its own being. "I" cannot extract
Existence from itself, however, so "I" can never know what it is
apart from Existence. Through the "I" in every person, then,
something of the glory and numinosity of Existence Itself shines
forth. Those who are awake to their own "I" know this truth, but
those who have lost themselves in the disordered mental activity
stirred up by the false self are asleep to the wonder of
Existence.
Abstract
The ministry of spiritual direction has as its primary goal a
deepening of the experience of union between the directee and
God.
Among the many issues addressed by the director and directee
arefs,
and discerning God's will. Generally, the director helps to
facilitate the Spirit-directee relationship by listening to and
validating experiences, challenging unreasonable beliefs and
attachments, recommending prayer exercises and reading materials,
and
co-discerning the leadings of the Spirit. In all of these roles,
however, the director's own assumptions about human nature and
divine
union figure significantly. Some directors, for example, consider
almost every kind of Ego-transcending experience to be an
encounter
with God. Others recognize a variety of psychological and unitive
experiences. The purpose of this doctoral project is to establish
terminology and criteria pertaining to the experiences of God,
Self,
and Ego and the manner in which these entities participate in
union
with each other.
A brief perusal of the literature will reveal many
inconsistencies in the manner in which the terms God, Self, and
Ego
are used. In this project, I shall attempt to utilize
experiential
definitions for each, and relate these to the works of other
writers. For purposes of clarifying the relationships between
these
experiences, I shall make use of the metaphysical insights of
St. Thomas Aquinas and his explicators, whose writings have
served
Christianity very well for several centuries.
Thomism recognizes two aspects to reality: existence and
essence. Existence refers to the fact that something is; essence
refers to what something is. When applied to the realm of human
interiority, these two aspects of reality correspond to the
experiences that I am and who I am, respectively. Most
definitions
of Self seem to pertain to the the realm of existence, and the
most
common use of the term Ego is in relation to essence. Self is that
I
am, and Ego is what or who I am. The relationship between Self
and
Ego can be deduced from these affirmations: Self is the more
basic
entity--human consciousness--and Ego is an individual
manifestation
of Self. In this view, then, Ego and Self are not metaphysically
opposed, and a harmonious union between the two is the natural
order
of things. Ego is the intentional aspect of Self, and Self is the
subjective aspect of Ego.
The relationship between Self and God is analagous to the Ego-
Self relationship. Self is not God, but neither is it separate
from
God. Self exists as Self because God gives it existence as such,
and
this very fact implies something of a natural, or existential
union
between God and Self. God is immanent in Self, and Self exists in
God.
The view of human nature described by Thomists also tells us
something about its interior attitudes. The soul is essentially
spiritual, but it incorporates the dimensions of animal,
vegetable
(physiological), and inanimate being. Hence, Self is open to
transcendence, open to the cosmos, and present in every level of
human existence. Self is also inherently relational since it is
possessed by each individual, but more fully manifest in
community.
To the extent that the Ego adopts these basic "attitudes" of Self,
it
will be in authentic relationship with God, other people, the
cosmos,
and Self.
Considering the relationship between God, Self, and Ego
together, then, one can conclude that no disharmony is implied in
the
nature of the relationship between these entities. The Self which
Ego manifests is God's "habitat" in each person. To the extent
that
the Ego is in a harmonious relationship with Self, it is also in
harmony with God, and knows something of the presence of God in
Self. Thus the dignity of Ego is affirmed in this view.
The universal human experience is that disharmony does exist in
the human psyche. The Ego-Self-God allignment is disordered, and
the
overwhelming testimony of the world religions is that non-love is
the
reason for this dis-ease. In response to developing in a climate
of
non-love, the Ego's desires becomes skewed in the interest of
minimizing pain and maximizing personal survival. A whole system
of
dysfunctional behavioral conditioning develops, all premised on
the
convictions that the individual is unworthy, unloveable,
unacceptable, and incapable. This system of conditioning is the
false self. It has no metaphysical reality as such, but because
it
functions more or less autonomously--frequently against the
better
judgement of the Ego--it feels as though it has a life of its
own.
This false self conditioning, not the Ego, is the primary obstacle
to
the experience of union with God. Understanding the false
self-Ego-
Self relationships is thus of primary importance in facilitating
ongoing union with God, the goal of spiritual direction.
Given these brief descriptions of false self, Ego, Self, and
God, several different unitive experiences can be acknowledged:
Having established
terminology and criteria for understanding different kinds of unitive
experiences as sketched above, the project concludes by drawing out
the practical implications for spiritual directors.
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