Posted by Anne Ward on December 01, 1999 at 13:15:15:
Not exactly a joke but some great one-liners!!!
Church Football
Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leave after
communion.
Half-time - The period between Sunday School and worship when
many choose to leave.
Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, or apparently do
anything but sit.
Backfield-in-motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water
fountain) during the service.
Staying in the pocket - What happens to a lot of money that
doesn't make it to the offering plate.
Two-minute warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is
almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
Instant replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last
week's illustrations.
Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep
End Run - Getting out of church quickly, without speaking to any
guest or fellow member.
Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during
the sermon to affect your life.
Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to
stay for Sunday School.
Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.
*****