Shalom Place

Characteristics of the False Self System

- by Philip St. Romain; all rights reserved

Consider the characteristics of the false self system listed below. For each that applies to you, write out how you experience this in your everyday life, and what consequences you and others suffer because of this.

1. I am more in touch with what I want for my life than what God wants for my life.
2. I frequently feel numb, empty, or cranky inside myself.
3. I am afraid to discover what's really going on deep inside of myself, and so I try to avoid this by living on a more superficial level.
4. When I become uncomfortable inside myself, I find some way to escape from this discomfort by using television, food, work, a relationship, alcohol, drugs, shopping, gambling, reading material, religious activities, or chatter.
5. I am often critical of myself.
6. I am often critical of others.
7. My mind is often filled with anxious preoccupations about the future, and if I will be able to get or have what I think I need.
8. It is difficult for me to just "be". I generally feel that I must be "doing something" to justify my life to myself.
9. I am trying to find happiness by getting something I don't have,, or getting rid of something I do have but don't want.
10. In relationships with others, I generally feel like I have to play a role ', or wear a mask.
11. If I would not do this, the other would probably reject me.
12. Frequently, I do not even know what my true thoughts and feelings are.
13. My self-concept or idea of myself is skewed, so that I see myself as inferior to others, or I see myself as superior to others.
14. I am constantly comparing myself to others to determine if I am "ahead" of them or "behind" them in some area of life.
15. When people insult or ridicule something or someone I am identified with, I feel personally insulted and I become angry.
    - - E. g. When my country is put down, I become defensive.
16. The roles I play give me a sense of identity. What I do is who I am. If I could not do, I would not know who I am.
17. When someone criticizes the way I do something, I feel personally put down. I have a hard time separating what I do from my identity
18. It seems that all my thoughts, feelings, memories, and desires are related to my self-image--to changing it, or maintaining it.
19. If I could better control the people and external circumstances in my life, I would be happier.
20. I tend to view close friends and family members as "mine. " I tend to treat them that way, too.
21. I tend to view God as judgmental. I believe I have to do the right things--usually religious kinds of behaviors--to win God's approval. I seldom feel that I am in harmony with God.
22. It is difficult for me to see how God is involved in the everyday affairs of my life. Generally. it seems that God has nothing to do with me and my life..
23. In my prayer, I spend more time asking God to do what I want, than praying for the grace to do what God wants, or to simply rest in God's love.