The Four Rs of Breaking Free
- by Philip St. Romain; all rights reserved
- Be-here/now-in/love all day long. Make this the chief concern of your attention.
- Take more time each day for silence, rest, and relaxation. De-stress.
- Quiet Prayer of Presence, seeking nothing more than to be in God's loving presence.
- What concerns keep coming up in the silence/relaxing?
--especially those which come with anxiety, resentment, guilt, and shame.
- Make a list of these concerns, and rank them according to their degree of emotional intensity. Use your journal, or a separate sheet of paper.
- Take one concern at a time and inquire:
- What question has this concern presented to your mind?
- Why is this question so important to you? What do you think will happen if the "wrong" answer is pursued?
- What have you been doing to respond to this question?
- What consequences to you and others have come from your efforts to respond to this question?
- What parts of this situation are you simply unable to change?
- What parts of this situation can you change?
- Make a commitment to do what you can do to respond lovingly and honestly to each of your concerns.
- Surrender to God in prayer all the parts of this concern that you cannot control. Use Prayer of Surrender format, or the Serenity Prayer.
- Identify all judgmentalism you had previously connected with this issue:
ex. success/failure, approval/disapproval, smart/dumb.
- Release all judgmentalism through affirmation prayer:
ex. "Lord, help me to continue to (work on this project) but to let go of all concern over approval/disapproval from others about the outcome. Help me, instead, to be content with my best efforts, and to find my joy in loving union with You in this moment."
- Symbolize your releasing of the unhealthy parts of your issue by visualizing each unhealthy aspect and "blowing it away" (or burning your paper).
- Continue to release unhealthy preoccupation when it comes up by Recognizing,
- Releasing with Serenity Prayer, then Relaxing.
- After a few moments of quiet prayer, visualize yourself involved in the situation/concern you've been working with, but now in a loving way--without any of the unhealthy aspects.
- Move back into a Relaxing mode, willing to respond in a loving manner to whatever comes up.
- Do not indulge the old, unhealthy aspects. Quit it!
- Do what is yours to do today, and leave the rest for tomorrow.
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